Altitude Walker
A long time ago in a hamlet far far away, I shared a house, worked and drank an occasional beer with somebody who was slightly taller, but lamentably (for him) far less handsome than myself. His name was Andy and he was a rather impetuous boy: a life ruled by impulse and extremes, as evidenced by the “flamingo” photographs.
Due to a seemingly random series of events, the wiser and more benevolent side of Andy’s internal self has acquiesced with the over inquisitive and but danger-to-itself “curious child” part of his brain and managed to sign the whole of Andy up for the Xtreme Everest expedition; a medical study aiming to see how the human body reacts at altitude.
Expedition
The expedition are hoping to help understand the effect of hypoxia (low blood oxygen) on supposedly healthy adults. This is relevant in the field of intensive care as patients almost universally suffer from hypoxia so understanding how to get more oxygen into people’s bloodstream is how you keep them alive. Or so the doctors on the project say anyway.
The upshot is 3 weeks trekking at altitude, interspersed with tests involving needles, physical jerks, general prodding, putting different shaped blocks in holes (apparently you get stupid at altitude) and whatever other weird things the doctors can dream up.
Carbon Gilt
For some reason, Andy decided that just a single act of (uncharacteristic) philanthropy wasn’t enough and figured that he might as well raise some money for a good cause while he was up there; and decided to offset the guilt of flying long haul to Nepal by choosing a charity dedicated to the environment – namely Friends of the Earth.
He then asked me to “use my colossal internet presence to spread the word and put forth the metaphorical cap of pleading for donations to this cause“. How could I refuse? Donate, donate, donate! Now, now now!
Turn the screw
If anyone thinks of any tests that might inspire the doctors to find inventive, painful or (preferably) embarrassing ways to prod Andy in the name of medical science, do speak up!
I’m wondering if hypoxia affects the time taken for a tongue to become stuck to a frozen metal pole.
The pictured shape toy was designed by Melissa and Doug
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Two things.
1. Thanks to Rich for putting this up and to anyone who feels the immense suffering I am going to go through in the name of furthering human understanding merits a charitable donation.
2. Anyone wishing to sponsor me based upon number of limbs lost to frostbite, yak trampling or generally on the basis of physical dismemberment / injury should be aware that there are but two Hopes. And Bob is dead.
Oh. And quite frankly this doing things for a good cause business is all a bit weird. It makes me feel “odd”.
Some questions:
1) Can I sponsor the Flamingo?
2) Are you taking your decks – you could set the world record for the highest ever mix
3) Are you the Hoff’s climbing body double?
4) Do you want me to text you the Saint’s results?
5) Are you going to grow a beard?
@Mavis
1) The flamingo is no more. He has ceased to be. He’s a stiff. Bereft of life he rests in peace. This might be due to the misuse he suffered during a particularly inventive game of “hide the flamingo” (and not that’s not a euphemism before Mr Mitchell gets all excited) which resulted in him winding up in the dry riser, gaffer taped to outside of the 7th floor of an office block and hung from the flag pole on the top of said office block. I’ll skip over the photo shoot with Ichiro Suzuki…
2) No decks. I have been using this opportunity to acquire a biblical amount of gadgetry though. At some point I’ll try and provide a list to Mr Bo-ack-ez. Possibly with some kind of image of it all laid out and me looking gormless in front of it.
3) The only kind of body double I am for the Hoff right now is a stomach double for his expanding belly.
4) No need. I’m going to be going through the emotional torment of acclimatising to altitude. I don’t need more suffering. Besides there will be no phones where I’m heading.
5) Oddly enough, I did start growing a beard a month and a half ago. It lasted about 4 weeks before it was sacrificed on the altar of my personal comfort.
For extra bonus humiliation, BBC2′s Horizon program is going to be following the expedition so the chances are that there is going to be video footage of me breaking down.
More info at http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6445181.stm and http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/everest/
I’m particularly not liking the sound of today’s entry. Somehow I suspect the nice folks from Stannah won’t be there to fit a stairlift before I arrive….
“Today’s route looked very short on the map. It involved a short hike down hill into a gorge and then up to Namche Bazaar, but this up-part is 700m vertically in less than a mile. For those like me who don’t know what that means I can now tell you a very very steep and long climb.”
Have you considered sporting full Darth Maul face-paint for the televised days of the expedition?
Maul schmaul. Many would say that the following video of the landing at Lukla was reason enough to dig deep.
From the video:
Clench your chair. How delicately put is that?
You wouldn’t believe what I can hold between my butt cheeks when I’m petrified with fear…
On a slightly unrelated note. How overprepared should I be here? Clothing wise I think I’m about covered. Three different coats. Sleeping bag rated down to -25. Full water proofs. 4 season boots (though I’m afraid they’ll break me in before I break them in).
But, do I go the full hog? There’s potential for all manner of superfluous gadgetry. From mosquito nets to titanium cutlery to stupidly complex Swiss Army Knife type doohickeys. I’ve already got a neat fold out solar panel thing for my camera / mp3 player / phone and some gizmo that is supposed to stop insect bites itching by applying a minute pizoelectric shock (which I’m dubious about but it’s tiny so why not).
So, all in all – suggestions are welcome with the caveat that anything I take I’m going to have to fit in my bags and probably carry. So, it’s fair to assume that I won’t be carrying a tuba or any other brass instrument just to satisfy your personal entertainment.
I think I recall the insect clicker we had working quite well, but DEET working better.
I’ve got DEET as well.
And, to aid in my preparation my 32kg kettlebell turned up today. Feeling slightly guilty because the poor delivery guy decided to be helpful and carry it up the stairs.
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/docs-on-everest-mission-get-bitter-dose/37550-11.html
Oh disodium tetraborate! This could be the worst of all worlds. If the medical types don’t get to experiment on the first batch of people out there then they’ll be itching to make up for lost time with me when I go out there. Though somehow I suspect it’s those wily Nepal Health Research Council types invoking a little known law to get themselves what we like to call in the trade “a piece of the action”. Have to hope so anyway.
http://www.xtreme-everest.co.uk/news_detail.php?newsid=479
Am I getting old and cynical to think that “amicable agreement” sounds like a donation to the “orphans’ retirement fund”.
Apparently, the expedition is on BBC News tonight. Groups A and B have already made it to Base Camp (I’m in J)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6572533.stm
Good luck Mr Walker today seems to be your ‘off’ date – please don’t contract high altitude pulminary edema as it is rather unpleasant.
It’s 2:36pm and I’m in Kathmandu which is bizarrely 4.75 hours ahead of the UK. Got here yesterday early in the morning and it’s all been a bit of a blur. From the ritual tourist fleecing at the airport to the bus ride through the city to the hotel. Kathmandu is completely mental. The pollution has to be breathed to be believed and I’ve come to the conclusion that motorists and cyclists navigate via echo location with their horns. Finally flaked out at 8pm last night to get my first sleep in a couple of days to be woken up for our early morning diary and baseline tests (blood pressure, resting pulse/blood oxygen, exercising pulse/blood oxygen and how are you feeling chart). Then onto the lab and the first test which was just blood samples, spirometry (breathing into a tube until you start hacking up all the smog you inhaled) and the bike ramp test (increase the resistance until you are physically unable to move). Tomorrow morning we’re off to catch our plane to Lukla and start on the trail so another early night (they’re making us do our diaries at 4am tomorrow – bastards). When we get to Lukla we’ll be meeting the team from Horizon who have decided that our expedition is the “lucky” one which gets filmed. The BBC guys have been at Base Camp for the last few weeks and will be well adjusted to altitude. While we are going to be getting our first taste of it. At least it’s the good old Beeb so the whole thing won’t turn into some of “Big Brother on Everest” reality TV show. But, the potential for me making an arse of myself in front of the camera just went up a few notches.
Off to chill by the pool now for my last moments of peace for a few weeks. Ta ta.
Me again. We’re now in Namche Bazaar. Two days into trekking. Flew into Lukla yesterday morning after Nev (aka Satan) made us get up at 4am. Then walked to Monjo where we stayed for the night. Life is difficult up here. Simple things like breathing are challenging. Walking uphill is as hard as running at full pelt. The Talking is the weirdest thing. When I had the blood oxygen meter on this morning – just the act of talking dropped my blood sat to 84 (at sea level it’s usually 98-99 and
It appears the doc’s have been making themselves useful since Andy returned.
Makes a change from descending on our mess tent like a horde of locusts and attempting to devour all our food and booze
Finally got around to culling my photos down to a semi-manageable size which can be found at
http://www.flickr.com/photos/8484345@N02/sets/72157600267986684/
While we were testing at Base Camp there was a huge roar outside and a large quantity of snow came down from Pumori. Someone was quick enough to capture the thing on video. The bottom of the mountain was about 1km away across the glacier and the thing still dusted the southern end of the camp.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYssxmIcX0c