tags: General
Goodbye Royal Mail
November 24th, 2005, by Rich.
Warning: apache_lookup_uri() [function.apache-lookup-uri]: Unable to include '/pics/2005/postal/lederhosenpost' - error finding URI in /home/www/boakes.org/htdocs/mods/plugins/boakes-depicticon.php on line 65
Break out your hankerchiefs, put on your best woollen knitwear and prepare to sob like a baby. We are about to witness the demise of a British institution.
On Jan 1st 2006 the UK postal market will be opened up to European competition. If that competition has any kind of a clue regarding customer service, then the Royal Mail will be justifiably stuffed.
So belay the handkerchief retrieval and alert the vineyards of the Champagne region instead.
Some exmaples of the Royal Mail’s ineptitude:
- Yesterday, I watched from the upstairs window as the postman arrived; he took out what looked like a birthday card and a letter from his stack. He folded them both in half, and posted them.
The the letter box is wide enough for both items to fit through straight, but he folded them anyway. The card had travelled from Australia to the UK without damage, yet the Royal Mail carelessly bent it in half during the last three seconds of it’s journey.
- Two days ago we missed a parcel delivery. The Royal Mail left a little card saying we could collect the item or arrange for it to be redelivered. Since we’ve already paid for the postage we prefer not to hop in the car, drive to the depot and then pay for parking whilst we queue up to get the parcel; we decide to have it redelivered.
The note says “We’ll redeliver to your address or any other local address free of charge. Call the number above.”, great!. So I called the number, navigated the tedious phone menu and eventually arrived at what sounded like an engaged tone.
Obviously it couldn’t be an actual engaged tone because I’d already got through to the menu system. Or could it? Shortly after, the line went dead.
I re-read the note. Further down from where “the number above” is printed it tells me there is a special number for re-delivery. Why the note doesn’t just say “We’ll redeliver to your address or any other local address free of charge. Call 023 9283 5211.” is anyone’s guess, it could have saved me (and probably countless others) one phonecall.
So I called the special number, four times, but it was engaged. No problem, technology to the rescue “I can use ringback!”. I pressed 5 to register that I’d like to be alerted when the line becomes free.
“Sorry, ringback is not available on this number.”
I waited 30 minutes and called again, it’s ringing! …and ringing, and ringing, and ringing… and after about 5 minutes the line went dead.
I spent 10 minutes writing this, and tried again, but it was engaged.
I spent 5 minutes more proof reading, spell checking and tidying this text up, then tried again: still engaged.
I spent 30 minutes eating lunch, then tried again: still engaged.
This isn’t a service, our parcel is being held hostage! Come on Royal Mail, you should be doing better than this.
The Royal Mail need to learn how to provide a service for their customers and go beyond just delivering things (albeit things that are unnecessarily folded in half). If they don’t, then come January we’ll be waving a happy goodbye to Postman Pat, and poor Postman Hans is going to be overwhelmed by the welcome.
November 24th, 2005 at 12:58 pm
I’m trying again: 023 9283 5211.
It’s not engaged!
It’s ringing…
It’s still ringing…
It’s finally gone dead again after 5 minutes.
November 24th, 2005 at 1:14 pm
I try the other number, the one I used initially, and instead of selecting Option 3 “to arrange a redelivery” I opt to “hold to speak to an operator”.
Seconds later I have a human being on the line. Hooray. The man says they can redeliver Saturday morning, and it will be anytime between 0730 and lunchtime. Hmmm. 0730, Saturday, that’s not really convenient given that I’m working until 4am most nights at the moment and Saturday is Em’s only morning to catch up on sleep during the week.
I ask if the parcel can be delivered later in the morning? The rounds are pre-arranged so that can’t be done.
I ask about an afternoon delivery. No can do.
What about an afternoon delivery on a weekday? No can do.
The original parcel arrived at 07:30, suggesting we’re at the start of the round, so we have no choice but to be woken up by the Royal Mail this Saturday.
Thanks Royal Mail. Ten unanswered phonecalls and an unsatisfactory result. Roll on January 1st 2006!
November 24th, 2005 at 4:31 pm
Genius…
In the flat we lived in while we were at university, we had endless problems with post, particularly parcels. Firstly, the deliveries only ever came at 7.30 in the morning - not great for a houseful of students. But we could have worked around it. Secondly, after we’d missed a few parcel deliveries, we began to get up and wait for them - our doorbell was loud, so we thought it was odd it never woke any of us. Turned out that the postman never ever rang the doorbell, so even when we got up to wait for the parcels, we’d sit there waiting and waiting for the doorbell to ring, then trot downstair at 8am to find a card through the letterbox telling us we’d been out. Then we still had to trek halfway across town to pick them up (as exactly the same thing happened when we arranged redelivery).
November 24th, 2005 at 5:33 pm
Sort of explains why, around here, it is known as “Parcel Farce”
November 25th, 2005 at 2:57 pm
Unfortunately, I believe that what the deregulation will mean is that posting a letter will cost considerably more.
The business that brings the Royal Mail the most profit is business mail and parcels. There’s no profit to be made in collecting, transporting and delivering a letter for 29p even on a large scale.
It’s also unlikely that any other company will want to take on the infrastructure that the Royal Mail has - install lots of post boxes? Nah. Hi-tech post sorting equipment? Nope. Thousands of posties? Don’t think so.
In fact, we might even witness the demise of post boxes and the postie. Mail may have to be taken to a shop to be sent and collected in a similar way.
Of course, I hope this doesn’t happen. I guess we’ll find out soon enough.
November 28th, 2005 at 10:30 am
The Saga Continues
Saturday Delivery
Saturday arrived and we expected to be woken by an early doorbell. At (approx.) 0736 by Mr. Foldy the Postman arrived bearing a parcel; however, it was a differnt parcel to the one we had missed four days earlier. The expectation of an impending delivery made it impossible to drift back off, so we lay awake, and then had a cup of tea. The minutes turned to hours and no parcel had arrived. This seemed strange because we were apparently at the beginning of the delivery round.
Emma called the customer services number to check, and was asked for our postcode and name. The nice lady was ever-so-helpful and explained that because the item was too big for the letterbox it would have to go on a van and could not be delivered by Foldy. She was also able to confirm that the item had been actioned for delivery today. Hooray!
So we waited; and waited; and waited. I recalled from my previous conversation that an afternoon delivery was not possible, so at around 1430 I called customer services, just to be sure. The nice lady asked me the same identifying questions that Emma had been asked, and was rather surprised that we had been told that the item had been “actioned for today”, because it could not possibly have been turned around that quickly.
I concurred with the nice lady’s surprise, and described my previous conversation, and the fact that I had reluctantly agreed that delivery would have to be on Saturday.
The nice lady seemed to concur that that both previous conversations had not provided us with a complete or correct view of the situation.
The parcel was, according to this phonecall, always going to arrive on Monday, because there is (and she said this repeatedly) a 48 hour turnaround.
So we’d waited in on a Saturday for absolutely no reason.
Monday
At around 0930, the doorbell goes. It’s the Royal Mail with a parcel.
Hooray!
As the man smiles and motions to hand it over, as ask why it’s been opened. He has no idea. The parcel looks like it’s been the victim of a severe pillaging. Fortunately it contains ten airsacks to protect it’s bounty in the event of an unexpected percussion. Seven of these have burst.
I reluctantly accept the package whilst swiftly explaining the background to the delivery guy, and he is not surprised. Almost every customer he speaks to tells him they’ve had trouble getting through to the redelivery number, “Did it just ring and ring and ring? Yeah everyone says that.”
He was really nice bloke and even offered to smile for the picture, but all I wanted was a pic of the parcel arriving, just to be sure I could prove that it arrived in such a sorry state, if necessary.
I’m going to look at the contents tonight. I hope they’re not fragile.
November 28th, 2005 at 10:53 am
Imagine the ShopOnLine.com boom if the final piece of the problem (the delivery) could be solved ?
December 1st, 2005 at 11:59 am
I’ve still got that hat, you know. And it’s still covered in tin-foil (the original tin-foil hard-hat).
December 1st, 2005 at 2:15 pm
Obviously, this isn’t the real hat, it’s a mere simulacrum, close enough to the original that it provides a strong visual cue.
December 5th, 2005 at 9:22 pm
coming in cold to this, but did you know that if you ever have a problem with an EPIRB (Electronic Position Indicating Radio Beacon, as on a boat) and you cannot stop it from transmitting, the recommended procedure is to wrap it in kitchen foil ??? [Hi Chris...]