boakes.org

Warning: apache_lookup_uri() [function.apache-lookup-uri]: Unable to include '/pics/2005/postal/lederhosenpost' - error finding URI in /home/www/boakes.org/htdocs/mods/plugins/boakes-depicticon.php on line 65

Break out your hankerchiefs, put on your best woollen knitwear and prepare to sob like a baby. We are about to witness the demise of a British institution.

On Jan 1st 2006 the UK postal market will be opened up to European competition. If that competition has any kind of a clue regarding customer service, then the Royal Mail will be justifiably stuffed.

So belay the handkerchief retrieval and alert the vineyards of the Champagne region instead.

Some exmaples of the Royal Mail’s ineptitude:

1. Yesterday, I watched from the upstairs window as the postman arrived; he took out what looked like a birthday card and a letter from his stack. He folded them both in half, and posted them.

   The the letter box is wide enough for both items to fit through straight, but he folded them anyway. The card had travelled from Australia to the UK without damage, yet the Royal Mail carelessly bent it in half during the last three seconds of it’s journey.

2. Two days ago we missed a parcel delivery. The Royal Mail left a little card saying we could collect the item or arrange for it to be redelivered. Since we’ve already paid for the postage we prefer not to hop in the car, drive to the depot and then pay for parking whilst we queue up to get the parcel; we decide to have it redelivered.

   The note says “We’ll redeliver to your address or any other local address free of charge. Call the number above.”, great!. So I called the number, navigated the tedious phone menu and eventually arrived at what sounded like an engaged tone.

   Obviously it couldn’t be an actual engaged tone because I’d already got through to the menu system. Or could it? Shortly after, the line went dead.

   I re-read the note. Further down from where “the number above” is printed it tells me there is a special number for re-delivery. Why the note doesn’t just say “We’ll redeliver to your address or any other local address free of charge. Call 023 9283 5211.” is anyone’s guess, it could have saved me (and probably countless others) one phonecall.

   So I called the special number, four times, but it was engaged. No problem, technology to the rescue “I can use ringback!”. I pressed 5 to register that I’d like to be alerted when the line becomes free.

   “Sorry, ringback is not available on this number.”

   I waited 30 minutes and called again, it’s ringing! …and ringing, and ringing, and ringing… and after about 5 minutes the line went dead.

   I spent 10 minutes writing this, and tried again, but it was engaged.

   I spent 5 minutes more proof reading, spell checking and tidying this text up, then tried again: still engaged.

   I spent 30 minutes eating lunch, then tried again: still engaged.

This isn’t a service, our parcel is being held hostage! Come on Royal Mail, you should be doing better than this.

The Royal Mail need to learn how to provide a service for their customers and go beyond just delivering things (albeit things that are unnecessarily folded in half). If they don’t, then come January we’ll be waving a happy goodbye to Postman Pat, and poor Postman Hans is going to be overwhelmed by the welcome.