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We were delighted to receive news yesterday that Matt and Claire have created a whole new person for the world and called him Henry.

Surprisingly telecoms companies have been quick to comment on unusual call patterns since the announcement, revealing that convents throughout the UK have been telephoning builders, construction companies and materials suppliers.

Some analysts believe this is a sign that Mothers Superior countrywide are getting the standard “three different estimates” on the massive extensions they’re going to need in approximately 16 years.

They’re obviously aware that the combined forces of the B-Man’s legendary musculo-skeletal perfection and Claire’s lovely English rose charm will result in young Henry breaking a combined total of hearts similar to the population of the home counties, so they want to be prepared.

The other call-pattern that has been causing mild astonishment is the volume of calls between #1 The Mall and Whitehall. Which has led several newspaper editors to lead tomorrows papers with the as-yet-unsubstantiated rumour of an impending abdication by HRH, in favour of King Henry, as he is already becoming known.

OK, I made most of that up, but I’m all happy and one sentence just wasn’t enough.