boakes.org

Netscape Alliance / Empire Cast List

A long time ago, in a company which now seems far, far away, Andy Walker took the concept of the (comfortably named) Sun | Netscape Alliance and assembled the following associative work… some of the images have been misplaced over time, but as I get copies I shall restore them. Since that initial foray, several more images were added by Master Boakes (as pictures of more of the cast became available).

In the original release Mr Walker noted:

A while ago, I realised that Star Wars was an idiom for existence itself. Well, actually I watched the films to death and then some more. This probably led to this collection of strange oddities.

Credit where it’s due though, the idea for this whole thing was not mine (shameless plagarist that I am), but that of a friend of mine, Nick (aka the Frampton Menace), whom Rich and I shared a house with for 18 months. He drew the original “Master Boakes” and then “Darth Maulker” and then I figured that what we really needed was a collection of Netscape people in star wars. So here it is…

Darth Maulker (aka Andy Walker). Completely embracing the dark side of the Force, Darth Maulker is a fearsome Sith apprentice. His constant training, both in programming techniques and the dark powers of consulting, makes him a formidable figure and a power to be reckoned with. Since his master has great confidence in the pupil%27s abilities, Darth Maulker is often entrusted with delicate missions. In return, Maulker is absolutely loyal to his master, and devotes his utmost efforts to achieving the objectives laid out by his mentor. Although he closely follows traditions and protocols, Darth Maulker is never one to blend in; he has built his own test tools and is able to wield them to deadly effect. (Image Courtesy of the Frampton Menace)Master Boakes (aka Richard Boakes). When 800 years have you lived, be this wise you will not. Master Boakes is the head of the Jedi Council and where he guides the council to just and wise decisions. It will be he who will take up the training of the new generation of Jedi once the evil Alliance has crushed the existing Jedi and taken its monstrous grip on the galaxy. (Image Courtesy of the Frampton Menace)Anakin Davies (aka Matt Davies). A disheveled boy with blue eyes, Anakin Davies is and earnest and hardworking boy who lives in the slave quarters in Bristol. A natural programmer, he has a keen intuition with languages and operating systems. He can sense what makes an application work. Leading a humble life, Anakin dreams of becoming a senior consultant and longs for a life of beer. Good at heart, hopeful and optimistic, this young boy little suspects the destiny and fearful challenges that await him.Greg the Rutt (aka Greg Mitchell). One of the galaxy%27s top criminal underlords, Greg the Hutt has bee in charge of a major criminal empire since he was about 28 years old. He moved to Portsmouth and established himself at a palace built around the community of South%27sea. It%27s centrepiece is a front room where Greg constantly entertains and holds court from his sofa. Greg%27s criminal empire knows no bounds. It includes smuggling, piracy and theft.Finbarr-D2 (aka Finbarr Joy). A three-legged Finbarr series astromech utility consultant, Finbarr-D2 usuall teams with a fussy golden protocol droid named Dusan-3PO. Squat and barrel-shaped, Finbarr-D2 communicates electronically in a limited vocabulary of beeps and whistles, but his programming has evolved into a near-human personality that is both brash and bold. Finbarr-D2 is designed to operate at customer sites, interfacing with customers and computer systems to augment the capabilities of the systems and their operators. Finbarr monitors the state of the application, maps and stores plans and pinpoints technical errors.Jar Jar Atkins (aka Nick Atkins). Jar Jar Atkins is one of the natives of the planet of Malvern. Banished from his homeland due to a series of accidents, Jar Jar meets up with Qui Gon Holmes on his homeworld and follows him to Tatooine. Though seemingly clumsy by nature, Jar Jar possesses an engaging charm and friendly manner which soon endear him to his new companions despite the minor misfortunes that follow in his wake.Qui Gon Holmes (aka Roger Holmes). An accomplished consultancy Master, Qui Gon-Holmes travels the country to manage the customers of the Republic and uphold<br /> justice from system to system. Other consulting Masters often use Holmes%27 focused sensitivity to consulting as an example to their pupils. Master Holmes possesses strong features and a piercing gaze. Powerfully built and speaking in a grave and determined voice, he has a very intimidating presence. Although a little past his prime, he remains a powerful drinker and a very active consulting manager.Dusan-3PO (aka Dusan Rnic). Dusan-3PO is a protocol droid whose primary functions are media and relations. Protocol droids like 3PO are particularly useful to sales organisations, who must be aware of the need for shameless media self promotion. Capable of describing the entire product set, Threepio is particularly versatile, owing in part to his wide variety of experiences.Dave Tarkin (aka David Robinson). Tarkin%27s role is that of directing the forces of the Empire as its grip on the galaxy tightens. He isthe tactical brain behind the Empire%27s deployments in the field and leads by virtue of his ruthlessefficiency in carrying out the commands of his Emperor. Power crazed and obsessed with eliminating thelast remnants of the old republic, Tarkin commands immense respect within the Empire%27s military organisation.Lars Erik, Sandpeople (aka Lars Erik Bolstad). A nomadic and often violently alcoholic species, the Sand People of the planet Norway are as fierce and savage as their harsh nordic environment. Lars Erik is also known as the Vikingbabemagnet, even his appearance - born of necessity - lends him and air of menace. The Sand People are easily intoxicated by sugar water and are most dangerous during their adolescent years, when they must survive rigorous rites of passage. Bebe Organa (aka Bebe Hildreth). Separated at an early age from a mother she barely knew and a heritage that was hidden from her, Bebe Organa was raised as a PS marketing person. Bebe, grew up in a high-charged technological environment and watched as the Alliance was taken over. Bebe is at the heart of many of the Alliance%27s most secret missions, using her marketing status to travel throughout the company.Pratish Calrissian (aka Pratish Patel). Accountant. Scoundrel. You%27ll like him. While the description is accurate, it barely scratches the surface of this complicated administrator. Calrissian is equally at home in the shadowy reaches of the sales ledger, and underworld of consultancy expenses. While he has rubbed elbows with salesmen, marketeers, consultants and managers, Patish%27s main difference is that his elbows were covered by some of the most expensive and fashionable Netscape branded clothes this side of Mt. View.sOozla Burnip (aka Suzanne Burnip). sOozla, the beautiful green-skinned marketeer, is a specialist in interpreative dance and journalist-mounted weaponry, and is regularly asked to interpret complex technical specifications through her unique skills so that senate delegates may better understand the capabilities of the rebel force.Danee Secura (aka Daniela Willcocks). With an athletic build, an exotic beauty, and deep cerulean telephone voice, Danee Secura stood out among the many faces of the Jedi ranks. She was a Jedi Knight during the cambrian years of the order, and operated out of the Status Four Jedi Temple in Heathrow. Danee Secura would lead customers and consultants into the thick of the Netscape telephony system, her lightsaber shimmering, forming a luminiscent beacon carving out the letter N on the shirts of any who dared oppose her will.Proddy-Wan Kenobi (aka Paul Derbyshire)Kiva Mothma (aka Carole Casey). When Senator Philpatine made his move toward Banking, Mothma remained a senator until the end, despite her opposition to Philpatine%27s policies. When the outrages became too difficult to ignore, and the debate moved from the senate floor to the battlefields of distant worlds, Kiva helped provide the market penetration that eventually toppled the Empire and restored freedom to the galaxy. ...ish.This image has been lost - got a copy?