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When re-reading the International Declaration of Human Rights the other day, I found myself mulling Article 1 repeatedly: “All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.”

Shortly after, I found myself thinking the unthinkable. I found myself thinking Republican thoughts.

A Loyal Subject

Immediately I glanced at the framed picture of Her Majesty above the fireplace and apologised - such pictures are common in every British household because they remind us of our place as loyal subjects of the realm.

I grew up in the knowledge that if you work hard, have a good career and try to make a really positive difference, then you’ll be happy, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll get a nice gong from the Queen that shows how much your effort is appreciated by the country.

Thinking the Unthinkable

My grandfather was honoured by the Queen twice - once in wartime and once in peacetime, so republican thoughts were unthinkable because they might somehow diminish the value of his contribution to the country. This is nonsense, of course, but it’s a thought pattern that I was allowing myself to lazily hold. My grandfather taught me better than that, he taught me to speak up.

Then yesterday the human rights thing hit me: I do not have the right to be monarch.

That simple fact is what made me realize I’m a closet republican; so deep in the closet that I had no idea. Of course, being British, I’m not in the closet, I’m in the cupboard. So I’ve decided to come out of the cupboard.

Retire The Monarchy

Since the existence of the monarchy is incompatible with Article 1 of the International Declaration of Human Rights, perhaps the monarchy should be retired.

Members of the royal family can continue to make a living doing public novelty appearances and in time, they’ll just become like everybody else: equal.

Thinking Ahead: The First British President

The Queen can (and I think should), enter herself as a candidate for the first British Presidency; but who else might run? Perhaps Tony Benn. Just the concept opens up so many new possibilities for the country, I can’t believe I was in the cupboard for so long.