I just got called by another TPS-ignoring baby-eating evil telemarketing sales company – it must be my lucky month.

Picking up the phone and answering to find musak playing I thought I might be in for the deal of a lifetime, or maybe an offer that was too good to refuse, so I grabbed a pen and paper just in case.

After a few seconds an Indian sounding chap appeared on the line. His broken pronunciation immediately suggested that English was not his first language. He told me that he was “calling from 3com on behalf of 3G” and that my land-line number has been specially selected “to receive a mobile phone absolutely free, including 400 minutes any time any network and 25 free minutes video conferencing, with no roaming charge, no activation charge, ” … etc. etc. “the phone will be a Motorola E1070 camera flip phone…“.

Naturally there would have to be a line rental, and I’d be getting that at a 50% discount. Paying £17.50 per month instead of £35.

I currently have a top-up mobile phone but I use it so infrequently that my last number was reallocated by the phone company because they thought I’d abandoned them: so even if this telemarketer is offering me a great deal, I don’t need it, and I’m TPS registered so they’re not allowed to waste my time.

So I decide to keep them on the line for as long as possible, and mention that I have another call coming in, so perhaps he wouldn’t mind holding for a few seconds. I compose myself, tidy my notes, and return from “my other call”…

Elaborate Bluff, not.

I asked the guy to elaborate on a few things that were unclear, like:

1. Which network the offer was with. He said “3G“. I didn’t want to lead him with any information (like explaining where 3G fits into the mobile phone jargon world) so I mention that “of the phone networks in this country, none of them is called ’3G’”, and he eventually offers “the network is three but it actually called 3G sir“. Um… yeah… this is me, being unimpressed.
2. I ask who’s calling me, and he repeats “3Com on behalf of 3G”. I ask for clarification saying; “3Com as in the company that make network things?” and he says “Yeah, obviously sir, obviously“.

Call Termination

So then he passes me off to the “closer” another Indian sounding chap, for the recorded portion of the phone conversation. I ask the closer where in the world he is and he tells me “Leeds, South Yorkshire”. He asks for my credit card number and date of birth. I say I’m not comfortable giving out this information because they’ve called me, and ask if I can have a phone number to call them back on. He puts the phone down.

If anyone falls for this patter and finds out who’s taking money from their account, do tell all – I’d like to know who to register my TPS complaint against, but the caller withheld their number.