Comments on: Tell me a joke….

By: Anon

Anon — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 14:03:55 +0000

What do donkeys have for their dinner?

About half an hour.

By: bewildered

bewildered — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 12:37:14 +0000

Glad you explained that…

By: Tiago Filipe

Tiago Filipe — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 00:22:46 +0000

A man sits in a bar table and asks a beer. As the barman brings the beer the man sticks hiis finger and gently lets a little spider walk from his finger to the table.
– Why you’re walking around with a spider?!- asks the barman.
– This spider is th strongest animal in Earth!- the man reply.
– Yeah. yeah it can’t even lift that glass of beer. – the barman jokes.
– Wanna bet 1o dollars on it?! -asks the man
– Ok…
As soon as the barman said ok the spider rushed to the glass lift it 3 times and yield:
– Pay up, sucker!
A woman watching said:
– I bet 100 dollars a i doesn’t lift the table.
The spider jumps into the ground, lifts the table 3x and yiels:
– Pay up, sucker!
An old man aproches and say:
– I’ve a bet for you. You, me , the barman and this ladie will climb into this chair if your spider lift us up this 10.000 dollars will be yours!
The man smiled and start climbing to the chair followed buy the woman, the barman….
As the old man was climbing a drunk walks into the bar and saw that scene: four people up in a chair with a little spider next to it.
He runs towards them and …
BLAM he squashes the spider with his shoe. He looks to the people in the chair and says:
– You pussies!!

By: kate

kate — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 11:40:28 +0000

Das war wirklich lustig!!

By: Sal Saqeb

Sal Saqeb — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 16:00:02 +0000

guy approaches a wizard and says I need your help. I have a 30 inch penis and can’t seem to find a women willing to satisfy my needs as it’s too large. What should I do..?

Wizard says I know a frog that lives deep near the lake down the road. Rumor has it that if you ask him to marry you your penis will lose 5 inches.

So he goes down, finds the frog and figures he’ll try his luck.

Mr frog Mr frog will you marry me…. “no” replies the frog.

Wow it worked my cock has lost 5 inches.

Let me try again

Mr frog Mr frog will you marry me..? No

baam another 5 inches gone

Mr frog mr frog will youy marry me..? Nooo!

baam 15 inches another 5 more inches and I’ll finaly be able to make sweet love to any women.

Mr frog Mr Frog will you marry me…

” how many times must I tell you… No.no NOOO!!!!!!!

Sal..

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 02:49:50 +0000

two men,lenny and artie, are talking in a bar. lenny says to artie, “gee, i hate my wife. i wish i could find someone to hire to kill her.” artie says, “well, we’re friends. i’ll kill her for free.” lenny says, “oh, i could never ask you to do it for free. i’d have to give you a dollar.” artie agrees to the payment of a dollar and is told that lenny’s wife will be at the grocery store the next morning. artie is to grab lenny’swife, choke her and stick her in his car trunk.

the next morning everything goes as planned. artie grabs the wife as she comes out of the store, chokes her and throws her in the trunk of his car. then he happens to notice that a man and woman standing nearby saw him carry out his crime. so he has to choke them too. the store thought it was a big deal and put it up on their reader board: ARTICHOKES THREE FOR A DOLLAR.

By: Bruce

Bruce — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 07:44:26 +0000

A termite walks into a bar and says “Where’s the bar tender?”

By: joss

joss — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 20:41:09 +0000

I told my family that i wanted to be a comedian.
They where all laughing.
But they’re not laughing now.

By: Matt

Matt — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 12:54:02 +0000

Three Irishmen walked up to a convent and knocked on the door. One of the men ask the sister who answers the door, “Excuse me sister, but do you have any wee little nuns in your convent?”
The sister replies “No, no wee little nuns in my convent.”
The second guy chuckles.
The first man asks, “Excuse me sister, but do you have any wee little nuns in your district?”
The sister replies “No, no wee little nuns in my district.”
The second guy chuckles a little harder.
The first man asks, “Excuse me sister just one last question. Do you have any wee little nuns in all of Ireland?”
The sister replies “No, no wee little nuns in all of Ireland.”
The second guy breaks out laughing while the third guy chants, “Paddy f***ed a penguin!”

By: Wilf

Wilf — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:37:57 +0000

The paramedic then asks Sharon, “How many fingers have I got up?”
“Oh my god” she cries, “I’m paralysed”

By: Fatima Escudero

Fatima Escudero — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 17:18:23 +0000

Have you heard you can now buy Divorce Barbie?
She comes with all of Ken’s stuff.

By: Lydia Button

Lydia Button — Sat, 23 May 2009 09:20:28 +0000

What Do You Get If You Call 666?

An Upside Down Policeman!

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 22 May 2009 14:47:47 +0000

Why is 6 afraid of 7, cause seven eight nine (seven ate nine)

By: dan shine

dan shine — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 01:17:44 +0000

What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.

By: harry mcallister

harry mcallister — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 20:15:16 +0000

An Englishman, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar.
The barman says this has got to be a joke.

By: Paul Pasker

Paul Pasker — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 10:28:16 +0000

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last month.

Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote ‘The Hokie Cokey’ died peacefully at the age of 83. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in.

And then the trouble started.

By: Jonski

Jonski — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 07:49:36 +0000

How do you tittilate an ocelot?

You oscillate its tit a lot.

By: tammy

tammy — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 10:37:49 +0000

how many bees does it take to screw in a light bulb? two, next you’ll wonder how they got in there.

By: Mark Reeves

Mark Reeves — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 09:03:57 +0000

I was involved in a minor car accident with a dwarf the other day. He got out and told me in no uncertain terms that he was “not happy”. “Oh, which one are you then?” I asked.

By: Emma Hopping

Emma Hopping — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 12:16:00 +0000

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialled the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper. “Hello ? ”

Is your Daddy home?” he asked. “Yes,” whispered the small voice. “May I talk with him?” The child whispered, “No.” Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mummy there?” “Yes.” “May I talk with her?” Again the small voice whispered, ” No .”

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, “Is anybody else there?” “Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman.”

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?” “No, he’s busy, ” whispered the child. “Busy doing what?” “Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman,” came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the phone’s handset, the boss asked, “What is that noise?” “A helicopter, ” answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed a helicopter .” Alarmed, concerned, and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle… “ME”